Greetings, people of Earth. I’m Steve Coy. I make websites in exchange for money. Here are some important things to know, mostly things I won’t do, and which make me sound exceedingly difficult to work with, even though I’m not. I mean, a little. But in a charming way.

  • I’m a rarity in that I do both the coding and the design of all my projects.
  • The absolute minimum your website will cost is $1200. I’m not quite Linda Evangelista (though we have similar haircuts at times).
  • However, if you provide a design to me, I will reduce my rate.
  • All my websites are based entirely on the excellent WordPress platform. I wouldn’t use anything else.
  • Definitely do not ask me to use Papyrus. I don’t care how much you like it. Especially if you pronounce it “Paperous.”
  • I can design your logo/t-shirt/brochure/whatever, and will refer you if I can’t take on your project.
  • I’m a former professional chef, and I offer food styling and photography in addition to web design.
  • I don’t use Flash.
  • She don’t use jelly.
  • I don’t do SEO, but I can refer you.
  • I don’t do ongoing content updates to your site, like “hey steve can u add this video?” I will teach you how to do that.
  • If you still want to hire me for ongoing content updates, we will need to set up either a retainer or an automated monthly credit card or PayPal charge. No exceptions.
  • Do not text me with questions related to your website. I will not answer.
  • My most important consideration is making website as simple and easy to use as possible.
  • I will not pass your message along to Marilyn Manson, bunny boiler.

What does “Postmodern Sublime” mean?

According to Emmanuel Kant, when we see something aesthetically “sublime,” it strikes the mind in such a way that we find ourselves unable to take it in as a whole. We experience a clash between our reason (which tells us that all objects are finite) and our imagination (which sees an infinite object incalculably larger than ourselves). In the ‘dynamically’ sublime, the mind recoils at an object so immeasurably more powerful than we, whose weight, force, scale could crush us without the remotest hope of our being able to resist it.

So, basically, the Internet. And why “postmodern?” Well, despite the Modernist’s pleas to the contrary, I just don’t think there’s anything new under the sun.

If you’d like to know anything else, or if you’re interested in working together, please contact me.